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Melvin's blog
Nshima & Curry
Melvin's Blog
Nshima & Curry
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USELESS STUFF CLUTTERS OUR HOMES
I live in a small apartment, one that used to
be a lot bigger. At least it seemed a lot
bigger, before I accumulated all kinds of
stuff.
I'm not sure where all the stuff came from.
Perhaps my landlord sneaked in when I was
away and stored his junk here. I should be
charging him rent.
My stuff includes dozens of glasses I've
never used, a small aquarium supporting no
visible life, and a weight-lifting bench that's
quickly evolving into a storage shelf.
But my stuff is nothing compared to many
people's. Some people live in large houses
and own so much stuff, they often have to
spend days searching for their children. If
you're suicidal and can't hire Dr. Kevorkian,
just visit one of these homes and jerk open
a closet. But be warned: It could be weeks
before they find your body.
In America and most wealthy nations,
accumulating stuff is one of the most
popular hobbies. People love to shop and
they also love to collect things. You name it
and someone's collecting it: books, mugs,
plates, antiques, shoes and heads of wild
animals.
People also like to save junk, often for no
apparent reason than to give the trash man
a break.
A friend of mine has saved every greeting
card she ever received. Some day, when
she's old and gray, she'll have enough time
to take them out, spread them in front of her,
and wonder whether she was once on drugs.
Many people can't seem to distinguish
between good stuff and bad stuff. Good
stuff is stuff you use. A television is good
stuff, especially during football season. A
satellite dish is good stuff, especially during
football season. And a couch is good stuff,
especially during football season.
Bad stuff is stuff you're saving just in case.
Examples include:
---Cardboard boxes: You save these in case
you move, in case you run out of firewood
and in case your mother-in-law needs a
place to stay.
---Fancy china and silverware: You keep
these in storage just in case you get a
sudden visit from the pope. If Bill Clinton
happens to visit, he gets the crummy stuff.
Your friends and family -- people you care
about -- also get the second-rate plates.
---Ill-fitting clothes: You have a large
wardrobe and half the clothes haven't fit you
since 1972. But you're saving them just in
case that miracle diet works. Or your
grandchildren take a sudden liking to
polyester.
---Exercise machines: They're in your
basement, keeping all those spiders in
shape. They looked really appealing in
those television ads, when someone else
was doing the sweating. You thought the fat
would just disappear, but the only thing that
disappeared was your money.
---Books: Many of them you haven't read --
you're too busy searching for your children --
and the others you'll never read again. But
they look good on your shelf and make you
look smart. It's better than displaying your
diplomas. And who knows, maybe someday
John Grisham will be considered the 20th
century's Shakespeare. Soon after they give
the Nobel Peace Prize to Saddam Hussein.
It would be smarter to sell all the stuff we
don't use and give the money to the needy.
After all, as everybody knows, we can't take
this stuff with us when we die.
And even if we could, why would we?
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