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Nshima & Curry

Melvin's  Blog

Nshima & Curry

DON'T SPIT ON A GOOD HABIT

I visited a dentist in India the other day and, silly me,
walked right into her office wearing my sandals. How
embarrassing. She had to tell me to remove my footwear and
leave them beside the door. I don't think I offended her in
any way, but I'm not sure because she spent the next five
hours drilling my teeth.

You'd think I'd be used to Indian customs, having grown up
in an Indian family abroad and married a woman raised in
India. In fact, the habit of leaving footwear at the door is
one that my wife, Malathi, has been enforcing in our home,
insisting that it helps keep the dirt out. Our carpet gets
quite dirty nevertheless, because we haven't yet adopted
another habit: leaving our children at the door.

I don't mind taking my shoes off before entering the house,
but it can be a pain sometimes, especially when I'm rushing
to use the bathroom. At such a critical moment, it seems
senseless to be untying my shoelaces, as though my big toe
wants to relieve itself. One of these days, there's going to
be an accident and I will look at Malathi sheepishly, point
downward and say, "Look, honey. No shoes!"

People in India tend to wear sandals, so it's easy for them
to remove their footwear before entering a home, office or
temple. It seems to be a good habit, for you never know what
you might have stepped on in the street. Some streets are
extremely clean, especially if a politician lives there.
Other streets are a mess -- it's like walking into a
teen-age boy's bedroom, but with no pictures of
Pamela Anderson.

Despite the mess, some Indians don't seem to mind walking
everywhere barefooted. If they were visiting our home,
Malathi would have to get tough. "Hey, don't come in here
with those feet! Here's a pair of shoes!"

Every culture has some good customs and some questionable
ones. But it's often what you're used to. While visiting
relatives in the southern state of Tamil Nadu, I was
surprised that the female hosts didn't eat with us, but
instead stood nearby and refilled our plates and cups when
necessary. They gave us such good service, it seemed utterly
rude of us not to leave a tip.

As a guest, I enjoyed this special treatment, but it was
also clear to me that the women were following a custom that
puts men's needs ahead of theirs. The men eat first, while
the women serve them. Then the women eat, while the men
check the cricket scores. Of course, this doesn't happen in
every household. Some men check football scores.

After meals and at other times, it's not uncommon for men to
chew "paan" or betel leaves, along with nuts and flavorings,
then spit out the red mixture onto whatever surface is
available. Spitting is an art form in India -- you should
see some of the patterns on the walls. In one building, I
saw a sign on the wall that said, "No spitting," and under
it, someone had left some "spit art." It may seem like a
disgusting habit, but probably not to the men who do it.
They're beautifying India.

Paan chewer: "Look, Deepak, I just created a picture of the
prime minister on the wall. Quite a likeness, no?"

Friend: "Yes, Suresh, it's amazing! The spitting image of
him."

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