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Nshima & Curry

Melvin's  Blog

Nshima & Curry

HILLARY SHARES A FEW DETAILS

Hillary Clinton's long-awaited memoir "Living History" has
shot to the top of the bestseller list, attracting readers
of all stripes -- Democrats who love nonfiction books, as
well as Republicans eager for some good fiction.

An astounding 200,000 people bought the book the first day,
plunking down $28 to relive the Clinton years (1992-2000), a
period known to many Americans as "the last time we had
jobs."

To promote the book, the former first lady, who will receive
$8 million from the publisher, has already granted a dozen
interviews to the media, all of them exclusive. NBC's Katie
Couric got the exclusive morning interview, CNN's Larry King
got the exclusive live interview, and ABC's Barbara Walters
got the exclusive fluff interview. And I'm proud to bring
you the exclusive humor-column interview.

MELVIN: "Welcome to my column, Senator Clinton. Without
wasting any time, let's get to the juicy stuff. When you
heard about your husband's affair with Monica Lewinsky, how
badly did you beat him up? And who administered the first
aid?"

CLINTON: "Well, I was furious, you know. I wanted to wring
his neck. I wanted to kick his butt. I wanted to cut off his
you-know-what."

M: "How did you resist?"

C: "Compassion. Kindness. Mercy. And the fact that the
Secret Service was nearby."

M: "Soon after that, you and your husband went on vacation
to Martha's Vineyard in Massachusetts. Is that where you
kissed and made up?"

C: "No, not at all. I was still seething. Buddy, the dog,
came along to give Bill company. And to remind him what
might happen to him if he couldn't control his urges."

M: "Ouch! Do you think he got the message?"

C: "Well, he didn't have another affair, did he? It helped,
of course, that I marked all his underwear with a special
message: 'Go ahead, make my day.'"

M: "You've written extensively about the Lewinsky scandal,
but you haven't discussed your husband's previous affairs
with Paula Jones, Gennifer Flowers and other women."

C: "The book is 562 pages. How long did you want it to be?
If I had the energy to recount every affair, I'd need to
publish a series. It would be like Harry Potter, but with
more tricks."

M: "You haven't written much about your daughter, Chelsea,
either. Don't you think the public deserves to know what she
did in the White House, whom she dated, and where she got
her hair done?"

C: "No, I don't think so. I've always tried to keep Chelsea
out of the spotlight. I respect her privacy. Besides, she
said to me, 'Mom, please don't write about me in your book.
I deserve my own million-dollar book deal.'"

M: "What about the controversial pardons your husband
granted just before leaving office? You didn't even mention
them."

C: "Well, I did write about one pardon -- the pardon I gave
him. That was the pardon everyone wanted to know about. That
was the most controversial pardon."

M: "Final question, Senator Clinton. Political analysts say
you are gearing up for a presidential run in 2008. Is
America finally ready for a female president?"

C: "Yes, I think America is ready. I'm just not sure if I'm
ready. Bill is already lobbying to be Secretary of State.
But with his history, I'm not sure if I should put him in
charge of foreign affairs."

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