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Nshima & Curry

Melvin's  Blog

Nshima & Curry

SAY 'CHEESE' AND BEND YOUR KNEES

Do people in some countries smile more than people in
others? I'm not sure, but there are certainly differences in
when people smile. I'm always stunned when I view photos
from a relative's wedding in India. Everyone looks so
serious, almost glum, like they're attending a meeting of
the Enron Investors Club. I'm telling you, I've seen more
smiles at some funerals.

Granted, the ceremony itself is supposed to be fairly
solemn, but you'd expect to see plenty of laughter and
merriment afterward, at least when the priest isn't around.
Instead, the groom looks like he just ate a worm, while the
bride looks like she just married one.

Of course, it's possible that the photographer did a poor
job of capturing everyone's happiness. Perhaps the bride's
dad went cheap and hired someone from the driver's license
center. Not only did he shine a light directly into
everyone's eyes, the numbskull forgot to tell them to say
"cheese."

Pictures from western weddings look remarkably different.
Everyone is smiling broadly, especially if it's a special
wedding, the kind with an open bar. The groom has such a
wide grin, you can count all the cavities. And the bride
can't help showing her freshly whitened teeth -- she even
smiles when the bartender calls it a night.

There are cultural differences at play, of course, but I've
found that it's always wise to smile in photos, especially
if you're dark-skinned like me. You can always spot me in a
group photo -- I'm the set of teeth in the back row.

Even when I'm posing for an official photograph, such as for
a passport or driver's license, I try my best to smile. Who
knows, the smile might be the only thing that keeps the
authorities from picking me up as a terrorist.

FBI agent: "He's dark-skinned and he has a beard. He might
be a terrorist."

Second agent: "But he's got such a wide smile. An arresting
smile."

First agent: "Yeah, that's what I was thinking. We'd better
arrest him fast. If he's smiling so much, he must be up to
something."

If a smile in a photograph can seem suspicious, so can a
smile on the street. In some countries, smiling at strangers
is considered odd, even impolite. As one Russian said, "If a
man is smiling at everyone on the street, he is either
deeply in love or deeply intoxicated. Or he is an American."

Of course, smiling isn't the only sign of friendliness. In
Zambia, where I grew up, people don't smile as much as
Americans do, but they'll greet you with an elaborate
handshake that often involves handclapping and curtsying,
making you wonder if they think you're royalty, perhaps a
Nepalese prince or at least a relative of Queen Latifah.

If your car breaks down, there's no shortage of people
willing to push it all the way down the street. Just try it
sometime -- it's a great way to save on gas.

People have different ways of being friendly to strangers. I
always welcome a smile, but when it comes right down to it,
I'm far more appreciative of the guy who looks stern, but
offers my wife his seat on the bus, than the guy who shows
all his teeth, but can't show any courtesy.

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