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Nshima & Curry

Melvin's  Blog

Nshima & Curry

WOMEN'S SOCCER GETS A RED CARD

Women's professional sports suffered a major blow recently
when the WUSA, an eight-team soccer league, hung up its
cleats permanently, just days before the FIFA Women's World
Cup. Hearing the bad news, sports fans across America looked
stunned and said, "What? You mean we actually had a women's
soccer league? When did that happen?"

The league had kicked off in 2001, trying to build on the
excitement over the U.S. victory in the last World Cup,
which helped establish Mia Hamm, Brandi Chastain and Julie
Foudy as legitimate stars, almost as famous as Oprah
Winfrey's cook.

Even so, the league failed to draw a significant audience,
partly because of stiff competition from men's sports and
partly because Chastain, despite her performance during the
World Cup, did not take her jersey off after every goal.
That would have at least made the ESPN highlights, giving
Chastain, as well as the league, some much-needed exposure.

Sportscenter anchor: "The San Jose CyberRays won the WUSA
championship today, thanks to Brandi Chastain's spectacular
header. We don't have time to show you her goal, but here's
her celebration. And here it is again in slow motion. And
here it is through our zoom lens, up close and personal.
Isn't women's soccer exciting?"

I'm not suggesting, of course, that a women's professional
league can't survive without turning its stars into sex
symbols. After all, women's tennis and golf are extremely
popular. I'm such a big fan of women's tennis that I've even
written down the dates of the major tournaments, right here
in my Anna Kournikova swimsuit calendar.

Men's soccer is hugely successful around the world, without
the players having to expose their bodies. Granted, British
superstar David Beckham takes his shirt off every other day,
but that's mainly to pose for bronze statues. Already, 200
of them have been made -- and that's just for his fans in
Tibet.

The movie "Bend it like Beckham" did fairly well in the
theaters, but it would have been a sure-fire blockbuster
under a different name: "Bare it like Beckham."

Soccer, of course, has always been a tough sell in America,
where people prefer to play it, not watch it, unless they
need help falling asleep. But even the men's soccer
league has survived for eight years, getting support from
not just first-generation immigrants, but also
first-generation illegal aliens.

So what's wrong with women's soccer? I decided to ask
a couple of soccer experts, male and female.

"Women's soccer is just not as challenging as men's soccer,"
the man said. "Women don't have to wear jock cups. All they
have to worry about is one ball. Men, on the other hand,
have to protect themselves, because they hope to have
children, you know."

"Don't be ridiculous," countered the woman. "Men's soccer is
far less challenging than women's soccer. Men don't have to
wear sports bras. All they have to worry about is the ball
bouncing. Women, on the other hand, have to support
themselves, because they don't want to go in three
directions all at once."

"You're right about that," added the man. "Women do need to
support themselves. So why aren't more women watching
women's sports?  Women have a lot of power -- if only they'd
choose to exercise it."

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