The Humor of Melvin Durai

Humor columns, satire and other funny stuff

There’s a belief among many Americans that President Donald Trump is a habitual liar, that he tells lies as naturally as he applies orange tanning cream to his face. But a new book titled “Truth-Teller Trump” contends that Trump does not lie. He just speaks in acronyms.

One example cited by the author comes from the final presidential debate and other occasions, where Trump has said, “I have done more for black people than any other president since Abraham Lincoln.”

According to John Drummond, author of “Truth-Teller Trump,” the president is stating a fact: he has done MORE for black people than Lyndon B. Johnson, Barack Obama and other presidents.

MORE: mostly outrageous racist expressions

Most Americans may not be familiar with these acronyms, but they are the reason why Christian evangelical leaders continue to support Trump, says Drummond.  Before making any speech, Trump sends evangelical leaders a list of acronyms he plans to use.

“People often assume that President Trump is telling a lie,” said Drummond, “but Republicans like me know that the liberal media is just not digging deep enough, looking for the true meaning in his words.”

Drummond says that if you look deep enough, you will easily spot the acronym that Trump is using. During the final debate, Trump also said, “I am the least racist person in this room.”

LEAST: Leader exhibiting abhorrent supremacist tendencies

Here are some other examples that Drummond includes in his book.

1. During his 2016 presidential campaign, Trump often said this: “We are going to build the wall and make Mexico pay for it.”

PAY: point and yawn

2. On Jan. 21, 2017, Trump spoke about the size of the crowd at his inauguration: “Even the media said we had a huge turnout. It looked like a million and a half people.”

HUGE:  highly unreliable gigantic exaggeration

3. On July 12, 2017, Trump spoke about all his accomplishments: “We have done more in five months than practically any president ever.”

EVER: excluding virtually everyone recently

4. On Jan. 22, 2020, when America recorded its first case of COVID-19, Trump said, “We have it totally under CONTROL.”

CONTROL: counting on nincompoops to respect our lives

5. On April 27, 2020, while expressing optimism that the U.S. economy would rebound, Trump said, “We had the best economy in the history of the world, not just here, but anywhere in the world.”

BEST: blowhards everywhere say this

Drummond believes that Trump, even if he’s not re-elected, will continue to receive support from evangelical leaders, because he has closely followed the teachings of the Bible more than any other president.

“The Bible is quite clear that telling lies is a sin,” Drummond said. “But the Bible does not say anything about acronyms.”

Asked about the commandment that says, “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” Drummond had this to say: “Trump has been married three times, but each of his wives considered him to be always loyal.”

LOYAL: Lusting over young attractive ladies

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